Following Christ

This talk by Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge, given at the October 2008 General Conference has been on my mind this month.

He said, “What manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am.”Don’t think you can’t. We might think we can’t really follow Him because the standard of His life is so astonishingly high as to seem unreachable. We might think it is too hard, too high, too much, beyond our capacity, at least for now. Don’t ever believe that. While the standard of the Lord is the highest, don’t ever think it is only reachable by a select few who are most able.
In this singular instance life’s experience misleads us. In life we learn that the highest achievements in any human endeavor are always the most difficult and, therefore, achievable only by a select few who are most able. The higher the standard, the fewer can reach it.
But that is not the case here because, unlike every other experience in this life, this is not a human endeavor. It is, rather, the work of God. It is God’s work and it is His “glory . . . to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”There is nothing else like it. Not anywhere. Not ever.
No institution, plan, program, or system ever conceived by men has access to the redeeming and transforming power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the gift of the Holy Ghost. Therefore, while the Lord’s invitation to follow Him is the highest of all, it is also achievable by everyone, not because we are able, but because He is, and because He can make us able too.

Maybe Barbies aren't the best toys for my kids

We traveled to Utah over the weekend for the Mills family Christmas party. Minus the 50 miles of snowly roads, we had a fantastic time. I love Rich's family. I also got to see my sister Alisa, who lives in Alabama, but is on her way home for Christmas. Honestly, I think she's the best big sister in the world.



Oh yeah, on to the barbies. Amber & Kate both got one as a gift from their Grandma & Grandpa Mills. They've played with them incessantly since they got them. I couldn't stop laughing when I found them like this today, though. (Her ankles, wrists, & neck are bound with hair elastics & she's hanging from a kitchen cupboard). I'm not sure what she's guilty of.

Ballet

Kate had her in-class Christmas ballet performance today. Shortly after starting ballet Kate was bored, so the teacher moved her up to the next class. Now she loves it!!! Her new class is held while I teach piano lessons, so my wonderful mom takes her to dance class every week. My mom always comments on how well she does. Today I got to see it myself. You can too. Here's a video clip. Kate's the littlest one.

Her teacher pulled me aside afterward and said, "Kate is really really gifted. I hope she'll keep dancing forever." I assured her, "I think she will. I think she started skipping before she started walking." I really enjoyed seeing her dance. Dancing makes her happy.

I also had a Christmas open house tonight for my piano students. It was an enjoyable evening. I get to rub shoulders with a lot of neat people as I teach their children. Kate didn't understand why some of the students brought me gifts, but not her.

This week in photos

I was tickled to see this tea party all set up when I came home from church today. They invited all their stuffed animals to a tea party while I was at choir practice.
I chuckle when I see babies bundled up like this. I had to take a photo of Jessi all bundled up.
Amber was in the Nutcracker ballet this week at the Civic Auditorium. This is Amber, one of my piano students and babysitters (who my girls adore), and one of Amber's friends from our ward and her ballet class.
We don't have a star for our tree, so we use doves. The application of them is always a highly anticipated, and then awkward moment.
I got two photos with all three girls looking at the camera. Naturally, those two photos were both fuzzy. Our girls opted to buy a Christmas tree instead of cutting one down in the mountains, so they could play with their cousin.

We had family pictures taken yesterday. I can't wait to see them. Jessica was all grins the entire time. The place we have them done releases them to us on CD, so I'll be able to post them.

The other man in my life. . .my dad

We live in a house that we rent from my parents. The stereotype in that statement just about kills me. But, to be honest, in some ways, I love it. I can't express the joy I feel when my parents show up and my girls run and give them a bear hug, exclaiming, "Grandma!!! Grandpa!!!" The grins that grandma & grandpa exhibit in return lighten my soul.

My dad spends a good deal of his spare time taking care of us. My expressions of gratidue to him seem so inadequte. Frequently, during the summer I'll notice someone outside mowing their lawn, then I'll look out the window and discover that it's my dad. (We have almost a full acre lot and only a push mower). He does have his own lawn too, and arthritic knees. In the fall I find him raking and hauling off our several tons of leaves before I can get to them. In the winter, I find him shoveling snow.

Since living here, my dad has replaced all our windows, installed a garage door opener & given me space to park in the shop, allowed Rich to work out of the shop, helped Rich move his shop to a diffierent location and them move it back a year later (this involved a deal of electrical rewiring), replaced some of the lawn with sod, remodeled the kitchen, helped us refinish almost the entire house, torn out old overgrown shrubs, & funded the purchase of new plants, tilled a garden, installed a sprinkler system, shoveled snow & ice off the roof, replaced the dishwasher, and replaced the front steps and porch railing. I'm sure I'm forgetting several things. Why does he do this? He says he does it because he loves us.

Why am I crying? Gratitude. I'm so grateful for my dad. Last night he finished replacing our transmission. We only get to pay for the parts. Yesterday, as I was attempting to express adequate gratitude he told me about a girl he works with. For some reason they needed an engineer to expect their house. They estimated it would cost them about $1500. My dad offered to do it for $100. After the job was done she paid him the $100. He took the $100, went to the grocery store and bought a pack of neccos candy, returned to work and gave her the change.

Not only does he give us his labors of love, he my best supporter. Often, when I'm feeling weighed down by the cares and worries of life, I'll look out my kitchen window to see if the shop light is on. Often it is, and I'll go chat with my dad. Sometimes we talk about what's worrying me, but most often we don't. We always have a good visit and I go back inside full of hope and gratitude. Part of the reason I enjoy him so much, is that I'm a product of him. I relate with the way he sees and approaches life. I think he is simply wonderful. I am one of the world's luckiest daughters.

Daily successes

We had our fall piano recital tonight. I think I'm usually more excited to get them over with than most of my students are. It's a lot of work and even more stress to get everyone prepared. After almost 10 years of teaching, I feel like I've developed into a pretty respectable piano teacher. I've learned to have high expectations, but not expect perfection. I've learned that floundering in a music recital can be a valuable life lesson for kids, in preparation. Tonight I was finally able to relax and enjoy my students' recital. I've always felt that the quality of their performances relects on me. Tonight, a couple of pieces were performed perfectly, most were wonderful, and a few were a flop. I don't feel compelled to take blame for the inadequate preparation of some. I've never taught piano lessons for more than 3 years in any one location. I've taught 3 years in Rexburg now. It was really fun to recognize the progress my students have made in the last 3 years.

I came home to a cleared table and 3 children in bed. I love Rich. He's so good to me. I laid down with Kate for a few minutes as she listened to her Nursery CD. It's one of our favorites. We highly recommend it. It's full of pretend stories and movement to music activities. Kate danced around the room and gradually moved the dancing to a laying-in-bed version. Unlike most nights, tonight I enjoyed it.

Kate-isims

Kate has been sick this week. As she was starting to get sick she she told me, "Mom, my voice is dirty."

The transmission went out on our Ford Explorer. While draining the transmission oil, it spilled on the floor of the shop. Kate asked, "Mommy, did the car frow up?"

Sunny San Diego

Amber and Kate are spending the night at Grandma's and Grandpa's tonight, so I finally found a moment to look at the photos from our San Diego trip. It was so fun to relive our trip a little. I love photos!

Shortly after arriving, we went to Pacific Beach. Both of the girls became mermaids.

Amber and I wrote in the sand.


This might become one of my favorite pictures ever. It does my heart good to see Richard happy.

This picture should be treasured forever. I love the role Rich plays in the lives of his daughters. A wonderful sister in our ward approached him last sunday to tell him she adores the way he watches his daughters.

Here's proof that Kate had a happy childhood. The energy that this photo captures makes me smile.

Jessica has just begun to eat rice cereal this week, but I think her first solid was sand.

The waves have probably washed this writing away, but it's etched forever in my heart.

We spent Halloween day at the San Diego Zoo. Jessica was a kitten.

Kate was a pirate.

And Amber was a ballerina kitty.

I was fascinated by the koalas, pandas, elephants, & gorillas. Kate & Amber were fascinated with the sculptures they could climb on and the sky ride. Rich was unfascinated, but humored my interest in the zoo. Somehow we managed to walk the same pathway in the zoo 5-6 times, and miss about 1/2 of the trails. I never did massage his feet like I agreed to.

Amber was rather grumpy until she finally got to go back to ride the quarter rides at the end of the day. I think we could find quarter rides closer to home.

Saturday was spent at Sea World. It was so great! The shows were Rich's top priority, so we hit the 1st show of the day early. They picked Kate and Rich to be the audience participants. They got to feed and pet the dolphins. They gave Rich a new wife (a dolphin trainer/cast member) for the show. In the show she trips & falls into the water & then grabs onto the dolphin for a ride. I captured the show on the video camera. I tried to use the LCD at first, and have a great video of the palm trees, due to the glare. The next few minutes are bouncy, due to Jessica trying to help by tugging on the cord of the camera. Finally, the lady behind me offered to hold Jessica and we got some good footage (but no still photos). Amber & I were so excited for Rich & Kate, as well as a little envious. We chose not to buy a $35 photo they offered us.

Jessica was just amazing. She wore this smile most of the day every day. She slept intermittently. We should take this girl on more family vacations.

This is the "Lost Kid Feature" at Sea World. It's a parent's worst nightmare. This climbing, crawling, playing, sliding feature is enormous and has multiple exits!!! Whose stupid idea is that?!? I was a little nervous about letting the kids go, so I told them to stay together and tried to watch them. Both proved impossible. I found Kate after 15 mintues of searching, but after an hour of searching we still couldn't find Amber. We called out the employees to help us search. Amber eventually came sauntering out happily and didn't understand why dad said, "Okay, we're done. Let's go to the hotel." I didn't want to be punished, and it wasn't really her fault they built a stupid kid maze. (Though she really did linger too long). Rich had a terrible headache and wanted to go, but dug into his heart and found an amazing amount of charity and stayed at Sea World with us so we could do the things that were a priority to me.

I love amuzement park rides. It was so kind of Rich to let us stay. I hated the guilt I felt waiting in line for this rollercoaster with Amber, but I loved the 90 seconds on the ride. (I'm still not sure the 90 seconds of pleasure outweighed the 20 mintues of guilt, but Rich insisted. I chose to accept his kindness). The look on Amber's face shows how she really felt about the ride. Of course, as a memory, it was really fun.

We visited a light house Sunday morning before our flight left. I love the picture of the girls dancing on the ledge. They dance every possible moment.

So, if you're read to the end of this travel-log, here's a laugh for you. Be warned, you may not want to travel with me. We arrived at the Salt Lake airport an hour early (that's really two hours early, right?) for our departing flight, because we were going off of Kerri's memory instead of checking the itinerary. Ha ha. Wait, it gets better. We were really tight on time getting to the airport for our return flight. We just couldn't figure out why everyone was so calm. We got to our gate just minutes before it was suppost to depart and they hadn't even begun boarding, but they said the flight was on time. We were boggled. Then, the time on my watch and on my cell phone were different. I figured it out while sitting in an airport bathroom stall. . .daylight savings!

Compassion

We're back from our trip to San Diego. We had a great time. I'll post some pictures after I have a moment to sort through them all. Right now, I'm trying to sort through the life, laundry, mail, & schedules.

We arrived in San Diego before noon on Thursday. After finding our rental car, hotel, & lunch we headed to Pacific beach. It was cool & overcast. We played, laughed, jumped in the waves, buried Kate in the sand and turned her into a mermaid, hunted for sea shells, and loved it. There were only a few other people there. I glanced back occasionally at our stuff and noticed the lady sitting on her lawn chair talking on her cell phone; and on the other side, the lady relaxing on her lawn chair next to the stroller. Eventually I noticed that she didn't have a baby in that stroller. In fact, it was just remnants of a stroller. She began layering more clothing as the weather cooled. Eventually I became convinced that she was homeless. I don't usually hand over change to pan-handlers because I don't believe they're all genuine, and I guess it bugs me that they just want handouts. But my heart was moved with compassion for this young woman. I wanted to go over and ask her what she needed, how we could help her. I'm ashamed to admit I didn't. I don't know why; fear? awkwardness? It really made me wonder. Does she have family members who wonder where she is? Surely someone loves her. She's a real person. What is she going through? Why? I felt gratitude for my "perfect" life all the love that surrounds me. I made a mental video of my kids playing in the ocean with their dad. I realized that my kids are so lucky to have two parents who adore them. They have good lives. Some day they'll be teenagers telling me that "it's just not fair." Now I can't find word to express when I went through, but my heart was changed. No life is not fair. Why am I so blessed? As someone so blessed, how do I give back?

Tag

Sure. I'll play.

1. Where did you meet? At a mutual friend's wedding reception in the Joseph Smith memorial building in Salt Lake City.
2. How long did you date before you got married? only 9 months. gulp
3. How long have you been married? 9 1/2 years
4. What is your favorite feature of his? His laugh. (Is that a feature?) I just love to hear Rich laugh out loud.
5. What is your favorite quality of his? His constant kindness.
6. Does he have a nickname for you? nope
7. What is his favorite color? Green
8. What is his favorite food? Food's just food. He loves Mountain Dew, but it's not food.
9. What is his favorite sport? Is computer gaming a sport?
10. When and where was your first kiss? At Rich's King Henry apartment
11. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? Movies, trips, dinner, play games with friends & family.
12. Do you have any children? Yes, three girls
13. Does he have a hidden talent? He must, but he's hidden it from me
14. How old is he? 35
15. How tall is he? 5’7”
16. Who said "I love you" first? I can't remember. He says he did
17. What is his favorite type of music? Variety
18. What do you admire most about him? He is the most non-critical person in the whole world. This world would be perfect place if we were all as kind as Rich.

I tag Michelle, Kaerlig, & Kaylynn

Our Bat Ballerina Kitty turned 7

Amber turned 7 today. She had a great day. Kate had a frustrating day; the normal, "sibling gets awesome new toys for her birthday and doesn't want me to break them in" reaction. Poor kid. Amber wanted bat wings to go with her Halloween costume. I refused to buy them earlier, because we're going to San Diego for Halloween and I'm not lugging wings through an airport or around the San Diego Zoo. Amber's getting smart. The wings were at the top of her birthday wish list. Amber wears her kitty-ballerina costume at least two times a week, so she got her wish. Kate made a really cute picture treasure hunt for Amber's new bat wings and spent the whole day wishing it was time for her to come home from school. I was impressed with Kate's critial thinking skills. She hid all her clues in all the right places. (I always seem to get one clue in the wrong place).

I'm exhausted. I feel like birthday preparations have consumed my week. Finding all the right gifts, making and delivering party invitations, planning party games and finding party favorts, making goodie bags to share with her dance class, wrapping gifts, etc. I still almost ruined her birthday! Last night I remembered she was supposed to have an "all about me" poster for school and I'd forgotten about treats for her class. It was a late night. I worried today that after all I'd done she'd be disappointed with something. She wasn't. It was a great day. (Minus my brief lapse in sanity after today's piano lessons. My baby-sitter no-showed).

My moral of todays story: Spend more time & energy in enjoying the moments than in trying to make the moments. But really, how much can you simplify a birthday before you're just the lamo-o mom?

Withdrawls

I miss our vacation already. Today was back to normal. Wake up, rush to get Amber ready for school. Teach morning piano lessons. Put the baby down for a nap. Try to plan my errands around the baby's non-existant nap schedule. Try to manipulate her naps & feedings so she'll sleep through afternoon piano lessons, and not get hungry during them. Endure Kate's continual "Mom, can I watch a movie?, Mom can I play a computer game? Mom, can I get out more toys?" Make phonecalls to reschedule 12 piano lessons for a family vacation (they're all rescheduled. Yea!). Make paper air-planes with Kate. Make phonecalls to locate the very special present Amber has requested for her birthday. Go walking with my wonderful neighbor friend. Eat lunch. Kate got her standard bread & jam, carrotes, & chocolate milk. I added a boiled egg this time to make me feel good. (She ate 3 bites). Then, clean up the after-math of the toys, markers, & crayons Kate got out earlier. Do preschool activities with Kate to give her some positive attention, all the while trying to remember her 4-year old antics are cute, not annoying. Make cookies for the piano kids who are coming for group lessons. Greet Amber at 2:35 and try to spend a positive moment with her, get Kate ready for dance class, and feed the baby before students arrive for group lessons at 3:00. Teach a fun group lesson to 3 goofy 7 year olds and then 8 "trying-to-discover my identity" 9-14 yr olds. (The group with 8 older kids was far easier than the trio of 7 year olds). 5:30, wait for Amber to confess where she hid the babysitter's bouncy ball, so I can take said babysitter home. Sigh. Load up three kids, including one hungry baby to take babysitter home. Return home and feed the baby then frantically make dinner. Briefly pause to greet my wonderful spouse, who takes the time to make more paper airplanes and fly them with the girls. That was my happy moment. Eat dinner as a family (no one complained about what I made-- another happy moment). Family scripture study, bedtime stories, family prayer, feed the baby. Make repeated requests for kids to get ready for bed, them grump at them when they don't. "Mom, why are you acting like this?" Apologize to kids. Spend a calm moment talking to Amber (another happy moment). "Mom, I can't find my blankie. Mom, I need a drink. Mom, Amber won't let me sleep. Mom, can I have a story in my bed?" Did we get to homework? Are you kidding? Ah, all is quiet, but I'm too wound up to go to bed myself. Write a long blog entry. Laugh outloud. Yes, this is the life I choose and love. Minus the 22 piano students. I love them all, but 12 would fit into family life more smoothly.

Potato Harvest Ends

Today was the last day of Potato Harvest. It has been wonderful! 10 days of freedom. Amber & Kate have played wonderfully. I didn't teach piano lessons. I'm thrilled to recognize that we stayed home & enjoyed it. We went to the library, the Teton flood museum, swimming, walked around the highschool track, had friends over, and played at parks. We had a great time.

Yesterday we went swimming at the Pinnacle building. It's the only pool in town, besides the University pool, and is owned by a sucessful alarm system company called Pinnacle. Luckily, the managers live in our ward. We went with my neighbor Tyanna, and three of her kids.

I have to add a funny from today. We were running errands & Amber started calling Kate "Kathryn", her real name. I wish I could regurgitate the converstion word for word, but in a nutshell, Kate repeatedly told Amber "I am not Kafryn! I am a princess and that's not a princess name. I already told you." Then, Amber would try to convince her it really is her name and we'd hear Kate's reply all over again.

A successful day

I made a mega-shopping trip to Idaho Falls today. It's 40 minutes away. To make it fair for my girls I took them to play at the new playground at Tautphous Park. It's the coolest playground in the world! The recreation therapist in me got so excited about it. They had to ADA assessible swings, half a dozen weather resistant musical toys, a great big wiggly platform that you could roll a wheel chair onto and still have room for other kids to join the fun. It was fun for everyone. Run, jump, climb, spin, hang, slide, touch, feel, listen, imagine. My kids loved it! I enjoyed it too and didn't want to leave, but it was only 37 degrees. Brrrr, so we were all ready to leave too soon. Next time I'll take my camera. I had to call my occupational therapist sister, Rebecca, and tell her all about it.

We went Target, Walmart, & Winco. $200 later I was exhausted, but thrilled that my kids were so good. And, I don't have to go grocery shopping again until mid-November. Winco is a big grocery wholesale kind of store where prices are literally 2/3 of anywhere else.

OCD

I have a new obsessive compulsive behavior. Acutally, I did. Last weeknd I made hairbows compulsively. I made two dozen hair bows! Really. I did. Now I'm over it. I had a ton of fun and now my girls have cute hair bows to wear, and I have something I can make for baby gifts.

How did it all start you ask? I bought some hair bows for my girls before school started. Four bows for $18!!! Then, when Kate did a scientific experiment on one, disassembling it to figure out how it was put together, I just about lost it. Then, oh, can I admit? It's blogging peer pressure. Kaylynn posted some cute flower clips she'd made, then my friend Marilou posted links to cute hair sites on her blog. Those sites had links to websites that had free instructions on how to make hair bows. I've added the links to those sites on my blog.

Now I can't wait to have girls night at my house and make hair bows with my friends.

Death of a classmate

A 6 year old little girl passed away this week in Rexburg. She was sick, so her mom put her down for a nap. She threw up and aspirated. Today I found out that the little girl is in Amber's school class. I've been thinking about it all day. My thoughts: Do I appreciate every day with my kids enough? How would I react if I were the parent? I'd be devestated. Is there anything I can do for the family? I don't even know them. What do I say to Amber?

We haven't told Amber yet, but we did ask her if the little girl was in her class. Tonight, we were talking about what we'd like for dinner the next couple of weeks, which diverted into what Amber wants for her birthday dinner. After dinner Amber asked me to mark her birthday on the calandar. I did. Then she asked me to mark Madison's birthday (the little girl who passed away), it's the day before Amber's. Oh, I didn't know what to say.

Creamy White Chili

Creamy White Chili
1 lb chicken, cut into ½ in. cubes
1 med. Onion, chopped
1 ½ tsp garlic powder
1 tsp oil
2 (15 oz cans) great northern beans, rinsed & drained (or 1 1/3 cups dry beans soaked & cooked)
1 (14 oz) can chicken broth
2 (4 oz) cans green chilies
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp oregano
½ tsp pepper
¼ tsp cayenne pepper (I omit this)
1 c sour cream
½ c. whipping cream or canned evaporated milk

Saute chicken, onion, & garlic powder in oil. Add beans, broth, chilies & seasonings. Bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer uncovered for 30 min. Remove from heat; stir in sour cream & cream. Serve immediately. This recipe can me cooked in a crock pot and also freezes well, even after the sour cream & cream have been added).

Home

Ever since we moved from our Springville house three years ago Amber has been talking about moving. Recently she's been trying to convince me that when we move we can live in our car. (I love 6 year old minds). The initial argument that she wouldn't have room for her toys was no big deal. "We could just get rid of most of them and keep our favorite things," she told me. (I guess it's time to clean out some toys; apparently she's not too attached). Logic won out. We finally convinced her that if we lived in a car there would be no place to cook, bathe, or go to the bathroom. We also told her that "they" just won't allow people to live in cars.

Now she wants to live in either a trailer or a motorhome. Kate's on Amber's side too. She'd say "Mom, you can choose a trailer or a motorhome." (Now you know how I parent). Today I assured them it's just not going to happen. I'm sure the novelty of living in a motorhome would wear off as soon as they couldn't get away from eachother.

The moral of the story: Less is often more. I often have an urge to show my love to my kids through stuff and events. I want to give them the world. Right now school is out for 10 days for potato harvest. I thought I'd be so great at doing fun things with them over the break, but they keep getting frustrated when I interrupt their play time to go do something that I think is fun. They just want to play. I also have this guilt complex that I don't spend enough time interating with them. There is room to improve still, but this quote from the 2008 Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting helped me gain a more realisitic perspective. "I love my children with all my heart, but I can't love them with all my time." That's by Pearl Buck. I can't remember who quoted her.

4:08 am

Kate: "Mommy, I can't sleep."
Mom: "What's wrong?"
Kate: "I just need a hug."
Hug, silence
Kate: "My whole body hurts. I think it's trying to grow."
Silence
Kate: "Good-night Mommy. I love you."

San Diego

I just bought airline tickets from Salt Lake to San Diego for $100 round trip per person on Jet Blue. Wanna come? We're going to the San Diego Zoo on Halloween and Sea World the next day. Hopefully we can fit the beach in there sometime too. I'm sooo excited! There really is an open invitation for friends and family to join us.

More milestones

For the last several years Kate has been getting growing pains at night. She gets them several times a month. She was crying before she went to bed tonight, so I gave her Tylenol. She came out of her room a few minutes later and told me she needed to do exercise. She said the same thing last night and I just sent her back to bed. Tonight I said, Okay, you'd better go do some. She did about 6 mock pushups and then went back to bed. I grinned to myself and thought, "I want to remember moments like these forever."

The dinner-table discussion the other night was focused on what Amber does at recess. She chases boys! Yeah! Amber chases boys!!! I asked what she does when she catches them. Her reply, "I don't catch them." "So, you just chase them to make them run?" "Yeah." The next day, my neighbor friend Tyanna said, "I have to tell you about recess." She informed me that she was shocked to see Amber chasing boys at recess, then, moments later when the kids lined up to go back to class Amber had a boy twice her height and three times her weight pinned to the side of the building; she was cuddled right into him. The sagga continues. We had friends over for banana splits Friday night. Amber announced to all that she kissed a boy at lunch! AUGH!!!! Yes, I freaked out. She has reassured me that she only kissed him on the cheek (I was calmed just a little, but not enough). I told her she's just not allowed to kiss boys until she's 16. She's confused. "Mom, it was just a loving kind of kiss." OH BOY!

Poor little Jessica has become dependent on a binkie against her will. Yeah, we're binkie pushers. Now she can't sleep without them, but she doesn't like them. She's learning to hold things. It's so fun! But, nap time is trauma now. She pulls her binkie out of her mouth and then cries for it.

Rich is on campus taking his first test. Wish him luck. I'm really proud of him for going back to school. I've sometimes wondered these past few weeks how he's keeping his head above water with school and work. He seems to be keeping a good balance.

Recommitting

I finally went to the temple last night. It was only the second time I've been since Jessica was born. As I was getting ready, I experienced pure joy & excitement. I love the temple because of the many times I've received clear inspiration and felt pure love there. The matter on my mind last night was, "How do I teach my kids all that they need to know?" The catalyst was this scripture: D&C 68:25 25 And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents. I don't think I'm feeling motivated by guilt, but a pure "I'm willing to do anything for my children" type of love. I want them to suceed at life, the true purpose of life. I know we are here to go through experiences that will allow us to develop a Christ-like character. How can I prepare my children to learn through their life experiences; to allow their tough experiences to build their character rather than embitter them? How can I teach them that life is wonderful and we're meant to be happy? Aha! It's those 3 things we're supposed to do: family home evening, family scripture study, & prayer! So far, Amber & Kate love family night and scripture study. I just need to be more diligent in making it happen. It's ironical to me that those things, which have such eternal significance, continually fall at the end of my daily priority list. My other "Aha" is the importance of parental example. As I learn to be a happy person, my children will mirror that;as they see me live with faith, they'll follow. If they see me cherish the scriptures, they'll some day turn to them to see why I think they're so great. So, the bottom line. . .It's back to regular family scripture study at out house.

Blog Tag

Tag. You're it. The rules of the game. Go to your pictures folder and take the fourth picture from the fourth file and post it. That's it. (I'm not sure how this works if your pictures are subfiled 1,000 times like mine, but here's a photo from the 4th file of this years photos.). I was so excited to have a photo of our family at the Rexburg temple during the open house in January. Jessica was still a bump in the belly.

They want Mamma to make it all better

How do you feel about the feds bailing out the big banks? Watch this video clip.

Kate

Kate's dreams came true. She started preschool this week. She is so ready to be with other kids and be entertained. She's attending the school district's special need pre-school as a peer student. They have 5 teachers in the classroom with 15 children. Kate was crushed when she found out she only goes three days a week. She loves preschool, I'm enjoying the time at home.

Kate's into letters and homework lately. A couple of times a week we sit down and she tells me a sentence to write. I write it, we talk about how many words it has, etc., then she reads it to me. She then practices writing an alphabet letter & circles her best example. Then, she draws a picture about her sentence. She loves it and I feel like I'm doing a "good mommy" thing. We finish up by reviewing the letters she's already learned and their sounds.

Kate brings home her pre-school projects in her little backpack. Anything she didn't get to finish, she calls homework. She quickly and neatly finishes up.

Kate and Amber both started ballet classes this month. Kate just seems like a born dancer. In my mind, Amber's a gifted artist and Kate's a gifted dancer. Kate frequenly dresses up in dance clothes and requests dancing music (that means classical music). Then she'll dance around the house. She loves the Barbie princess movies, especially if they include dancing. Both girls were in a jazz class last year that my friend taught. At the end of the school year, they both decided they'd prefer to do ballet. People frequently comment on Kate's grace, coordination, and princess mannerisms. I was certain she's love ballet. It was a nightmare to schedule piano lessons around dance classes. But I did it because I believe it's "her thing." After two lessons (and a new dance outfit, new shoes, a deposit, & a month of tuition), Kate's declared she doesn't like it! What!?! I suspect I'm now trying to guilt her into loving it. Sigh. We'll give it a few more weeks.

Our Amber

Rich & I stayed home from church today, sick. It's SOOO boring!! (being sick, I mean, not church). I was grateful for a wonderful Primary President who took over my sharing time last minute. I called my Mom at 8:45 am to let her know we wouldn't be coming for Sunday dinner. I told her Amber was disappointed she wouldn't get to go to church, so my Mom offered to take her. Amber got ready in 10 mintues! I was so proud of her for choosing to go. She told my mom, "I chose the right, didn't I Grandma?" Now, 6 1/2 hours later, we're missing Amber. Grandma took Amber home with her after church. There's nothing like one on one Grandma time. Did I mention my Mom is wonderful? Our day has been spent playing Kate & Jessica tag. "Tag Rich, you're it, I'm taking a nap."

If you ask Amber what her favorite thing is about school, she'd reply "recess." She spends her recesses collecting lady bugs. When recess is over, she tucks them in her backpack to bring home. She brings home about 5 a day. They live in a jar in our kitchen. She's learned to give them fresh leaves and little drops of water. The other day she couldn't locate the ladybugs in her backpack, so she just left it open. We found them. . . on the refrigerator, in the bathroom, on the table, and in Rich's hair. Too bad I threw my house plants out last week. (I really did, I chose not to care for them any longer, or maybe I chose not to neglect them any longer. Same thing either way, right?) All those ladybugs would have been good for them. So can anybody tell me, why is it that if bugs are red they're cute?

Yesterday we made a deal with the girls that I'd take them to kid-heaven, yeah, McDonalds for ice cream when their jobs were done. We arranged to go with some friends, but they couldn't go until 5:30. So, at 10:00 I gave the girls the option to play outside or stay inside and do their jobs. They're smart. They stayed outside all day. Guess what they did? Yeah, they caught ladybugs. Then grasshoppers, then butterflies. Amber was disappointed I wouldn't get her two more jars to keep her new pets in. Grasshoppers in my kitchen? I don't think so.

Blessings

This was one of the best days of my life- Jessica's blessing day. It was the culmination of miracles and answered prayers. Richard, supported by many wonderful family members, gave Jessica the most beautiful blessing. It was simply wonderful. Jessica is such a blessing to our family. It's mind-boggling that before you have a baby you simply can't imagine them, then after they arrive you can't remember them ever not being a part of your family. A whole family is re-defined and it's just right. I love watching Amber and Kate in their big-sister role. They love their baby, and she loves them. I love watching Rich in his role as a dad. He can be so tender and gentle with his girls. I also adore the way he kindly cares for me during pregnancy and after child-birth, when I desperately need his companionship.

Last fast Sunday a sister in our ward encouraged young parents not to wish away their childrens' early years. With joy I realized, I don't. I really love my little girls (not every moment, mind you), but there are those moments when I just want to freeze them and hope they'll stay little just a little bit longer. That's why I love to take pictures, journal, and scrapbook. I don't want the wonderful memories to fade. It's such a blessing to be a mom.

A free writing exercise

Rich & I struck a deal this week. If I can be in bed by 10:00 10 out of the next 14 nights I can buy a new workout DVD. It's almost 10:00, so I'm not editing, proofing, or deleting my entire entry & starting over tonight. You get it straight from my brain. Going to bed by 10:00 is nigh unto impossible for me. I just want to stay up later and later each night, enjoy the time that by kids are sleeping blissfully in their beds. But, the tired-er I get the worse I sleep and the hungrier little Jess gets the next day. (More than you wanted to know?)

Why a workout DVD as a reward? Rich gave me a gym membership as Christmas present almost 3 years ago. It was a little hard to justify, financially, but I've loved it! It makes me a better/happier person and I used it faithfully. I decided to renew it for another two years when it expired last December. I was pregnant at the time, but figured I could bring the baby to group classes in a carseat, because for two years I've watched everyone else do it. I hit the gym 6 weeks post-pardom, only to be informed that the night before, the new manager had made a new policy. No babies on the floor. Did they really think I'm going to take my 6 week old into the child-care room to be poked and sneezed on by up to 40 little toddlers and preschoolers?!? (She's 3 months old now, but I'm still not taking her in there). I wrote a nice lengthy letter, but it did no good. So, tomorrow I'm freezing my gym membership for three months. I'm so sad about it. But, I did just order my first workout video to try at home, and, I'm kind of excited about it.

Well, that's a bit of a boring post for y'all, but I'm going to bed. Be sure to ask me how I'm doing on my new goal. Let me know about your goals & I'll check up on you too.

Back to School

I've been watching my kids lately, wondering how they got so big without me noticing. I think I was in semi-hibernation while I was pregnant and then woke up to bigger children. They're growing up so fast; and I don't know how to stop of the busy-ness of my life and just enjoy them. We didn't get our fare share of fun in over the summer, but my kids did get more than their summer quota of fighting (probably due to the lack of fun). I started looking forward to school starting. Now that school's started Kate's bored. I constantly hear "Mom, now what can I do?". She's also a little tornado, going from one box of toys to the next. Lesson learned: enjoy the positive in every moment. Yes, they fought during the summer, but they also played together. Now, I'm choosing to enjoy the moments that Kate helps me with projects just so she can be with me. She's such a pleasant person to be around. Last week I thoroughly enjoyed having her help me dry apricots and can peaches. And for a four year old, Kate's really good at window-washing. It's her chore of choice.

Amber was more excited about school starting than I was. I'll admit, it made me a little sad, but I reassured myself that it's wonderful that she loves school. and age appropriate that she's ready to branch out. Now I feel like she's gone all day. I've always enjoyed teaching piano lessons, but now I'm heart-broken that I miss out on that much more time with Amber. Looking at the situation from a more grateful perspective: I've been able to move 10 of my students to morning lessons. Middle school here doesn't start until 9:00, so I'm able to teach for an hour each morning, after Amber gets on the bus. Rich gets to spend that quality time with Jessica & Kate. Morning lessons are working out great. I only have to teach 3 afternoons a week, and I'm done by 5:00. One of those afternoons each week they'll spend at Grandma's house (more quality time with someone who loves them). So, even though I would do just about anything to be "just a mom", I'm really grateful I'm able to work from home, doing something I love, knowing my children aren't being to scarred by it.

Does that look like $3,000 worth of damage?

Yeah, I did that.

My dad is just like me. We love to play. When we don't get to, we feel caged in. My Dad has a boat and loves to waterski. I enjoy it too. Rich and my kids are cometimes indifferent about going boating and sometimes they just flat don't want to go (I dont' get it). It takes 3 adults to water-ski: a driver, a skiier, and a flag holder. I was really nervous to drive my Dad's boat for a long time. This summer I finally decided to put my fears aside and learn to drive the boat and pull a water-skiier, so I could drive when Rich didn't come along. Really, I was trying to be nice to my dad by learning to drive his boat. I insisted on driving each time so I could become more experienced and more comfortable driving it.

I was just getting comfortable driving the boat. I could even go pick up a skier after they crashed, without fearing I was going to run them over. After our last outing we were headed back to the dock and I unknowingly drove across an island that's not presently an island because of the high water level. Uh, whoops. My dad claims it's his fault because he was standing right next to me and assures me he could have done it just as easily. Right. He's such a nice dad. He played it very calmly & assured me he had insurance and he's just get it fixed. Actually, the insurance wasn't active. I think it was the insurance agent's mistake of something, because in the end, they are going to cover it. So, should I drive it again? When a horse bucks you off, do you get right back in the saddle?

Memories

I just saw this on one of my friend's blogs & got excited.

So here's how it works...

1. Leave one memory that you and I had together as a comment on my blog. It doesn't matter if you know me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. If you leave a memory about me, I'll come to your blog or send you an e-mail and leave one about you.

Priorities and Relationships

"Here is a strange paradox. Woman instinctively wants to give, yet resents giving herself in small pieces. I believe that what woman resents is not so much giving herself in pieces as giving herself purposelessly. Purposeful giving is not as apt to deplete one's resources; it belongs to the natural order of giving that seems to renew itself even in the act of depletion."

This quote if from the book "Gift from the Sea" by Ann Morrow Lindberg (page 46). It takes me back to the importance of pondering and meditating. . . to decide in our mind what matters most to us and then focus our best energy on that, instead of living automatically and wearing ourselves out trying to do it all. It ties right into Elder Oak's conference talk "Good, Better, & Best" from the October 07 Conference.

Hungry for more?

"When each partner loves so completely that he has forgotten to ask himself whether or not he is loved in return; when he only knows that he loves and is moving to its music- then, and then only, are two people able to dance perfectly in tune to the same rhythm. " (p. 106)

"The spirit alternates between total vision and absolute blindness. Here is a man, for example, who loves his farm- but there are moments when he sees in it only a collection of unrelated objects. Here is a man who loves his wife- but there are moments when he sees in love nothing but burdens, hindrances, constraints. Here is a man who loves music- but there are moments when it cannot reach him."

"When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity. The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now." (p. 108)

Under 71 feet of water

Okay, we're joining the masses. We're bloggers now. Does doing this make me a blogger?

Yesterday we went boating on the Palisades Reservoir with my parents, my sister Tonya, & her family. Yes, we took 8 week old Jessica. I did feel a little conspicuous carrying an infant carrier onto the boat. We planned to set up a shade/mosquito tent for Jessica on the beach because, well, I don't think they make life jackets in size 0-3 months. Well, there was no beach; the water is too high. Bringing the tent was my idea. Setting it up on a floating dock was not. Did you know that if you drop a tent pole into the water vertically it sinks really, really fast? Aha, we finally know what to get my dad for Christmas! A new shade tent! But, I'd bet money he buys himself a new one before we can. We spent most of the day setting up and then repacking the tent (because a tent minus one pole really is quite useless). Did you know a folding campchair sinks almost as fast as a tent pole? We saw it was blue just before it went down. By deduction, we figured out it was a chair. We'd still declare the trip a success. The baby didn't get sunburned or stressed out by the wind, the girls got to swim in the lake & the adults got to waterski or wakeboard just enough to be sore the next day.

Last time we went to Palisades we lost & then found a diamond wedding ring. Just one more of those testimony building experiences that God does hear and answer prayers.